Berate

"Iran Demands Respect As NGOs Berate U.N. Racism Conference"
--headline April 24, 2009 www.cnsnews.com

BERATE: to chide, scold, or criticize someone with intent to punish or humble them.

After a long break, I have returned to blogging about our good ol' English language.

Berate is not as ancient as some others on the "be-" list... it appears at the earliest by A.D. 1386, made of two words: be (about) and rate. The latter word has an older lineage, growing out of Old French "reter" (to impute blame) which in turn comes surprisingly from Latin "reputare", (to count over, reflect... as in reputation).

In the Middle Ages, you might rate someone (blame them) for doing a lousy job. We tend to still rate people on the basis of desirable skills. I googled this and was amused (sadly?) to find that Facebook has a widget called "People Rate People" where you can get your friends to vote for you. But in the old days "rate" had none of this popularity feel.

Berating seems in no danger of disappearing from the English language, as even some bloggers are enthusiastic to tongue-lash, lambast, accuse... you get the point. Of course, I don't even have to leave the walls of my house, as I hear my own voice berate my kids for spilling the milk, forgetting to flush the toilet, or dawdle when speed is needed.

I guess this illustrates the problem with berating; it's not wrong to justly correct another person (see this link for the lost art of rebuking) but it's easy to over-do it, to scold out of proportion to the transgression. Impatience, a temporary lack of love, and the desire for control all form a witch's brew of motives that vomit forth our accusations towards others... or ourselves.

Yes, I also belong to the Self-Berating Club. The irony is that our urge to verbally punish others or ourselves fall so short of the mark of our crying need for humility. Didn't Christ himself say,

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Christ says to us to deal with our problems first, and then with an appropriate attitude we can help others see their flaws, when the time is right. Nowhere does this leave room for venting or ranting at people. "Getting it off my chest" may be therapy, but it smacks of pride and a love for pointing out people's errors.

Perhaps this is why the devil is named Satan in the Bible, literally "the Accuser", who desires to make us despair by showing us our failure to live by God's law. He accuses so he might paralyze his prey. He pretends to uphold the law of God because he is an ancient scavenger, and we know we actually are weak and morally crippled. Anyone who is honest with himself knows that he does not always live in sync with his own standards of behaviour.

But what this "Berater" doesn't realize is that what we are powerless to do, Someone else was perfect in my place.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

The real answer to all my (or your) moral failures is not accusing, but accepting. Just as berate comes from the Old French word meaning "to impute blame", we can accept the morally pure life of Christ as a gift to us, his perfect record reckoned to me by faith... to impute blessing, not blame. Here is the power for us to both humbly own up to our faults (no defensiveness!!!) and at the same time feel incredibly loved and significant, because this Son of God came not to accuse the world but to redeem it, one soul at a time.

The sweet irony here is that only God has the absolute right to accuse, condemn, and punish us. Yet He chooses to offer us mercy instead, and the grace of God to transform screwed-up people like me into heroes. And if we benefit from this kindness, will we also impute blessing to others instead of blame?

--An old blame-shifter who still has hope for himself